Athur in the Afternoon

So I took a few days to decide what to write about on here... I mean, I could speak of my life growing up... about my love of show tunes.... about my dog.... my job.... but decided to write about my hidden life... my desires and my kinks.... I guess, this is an anonymous blog, right, so I can write about anything and no one will know it's by me..... right?

SO... here's the deal... I'm gay... I'm 31... I've been in a relationship for almost 7 years (June 23rd is the anniversary, although he doesn't think that's correct). I dated women for a long time. I liked dating women... but there was just something about a guy that fascinated me... something about getting naked with one... feeling one near me.

So I think I'll start from the beginning and add a chronological order of my gay life up until now... and hopefully (I know it's not a word but I'm using it anyway) by the time I get to the present I will have a lot of thoughts about the future.

(With that said, I was going to write about the need for a NSA affair, which is why I titled this post as I did... I'm going to keep the title, but I guess I should call it something else, like... "When Your Cousins Practice Sex On You.") YEAH! That will keep you reading.

SO... did I always know I was gay? I can't say I KNEW what gay was, but I swear I had a crush on my second grade lunch monitor.. he was a hot guy... at least, the way I remember him. I think he had a mullet.. but he had MUSCLES like you wouldn't believe.. we used to swing on his arms. I think he was a bus driver at times too... but he was the guy at lunch I got excited to see every time I saw him... he had a chest on him.. and muscles. Muscles.

You'd think that with my desire to see and touch muscles I'd be bigger than I am... I'm not weak... actually at 6'5" my frame is pretty damn good, and I'm not FAT, but just not hard.. in shape... fit.

Second grade.. that's my first memory of being attracted to a guy. The lunch monitor also had a cologne that I remember to this day... I have NO idea what it was, although I hope to find it some day... I have pretty much figured out that it was probably "High Karate" or something else that has since become a punchline.... but still... I love it. I loved him.

That was the first memory, and then honestly, I don't have another memory of being attracted to a man until I was 17 or 18. That's not to say I didn't look at porn and enjoyed seeing the guys more than the girls, but that was the first time I wanted to be enveloped by a man.

In third grade, I discovered the theater.. musical theater. I KNOW.. now THIS is where my gayatude should have begun, but I am almost positive that this did not "make me gay" and I think actually I was a pretty straight boy for being in at least 3 shows a year with the local community theater. Jill K- was the director... she was an amazingly JAPish woman... probably no more than 5' tall... fake tan... nails... but she managed to direct up to 40 kids 3rd grade and up in shows all the time. If she didn't have an actual script, which was rarely ever, she'd type out the entire thing... she'd plagiarize music and I guarantee you for those first few years at least, royalties were not paid.

The interesting thing about this community theater was that everyone did it... if you were cool, you were in a show. Josh S- and Brian B-, Andrew S- and Michael B- were all in these shows, singing and dancing and reciting lines and it was just what you did. I grew up in a suburb of Cleveland, Ohio... it was 95% Jewish.... they actually had a temple on every corner of the city, and they eventually turned the only church into an art museum.. which eventually got torn down for a bigger police/fire/community building. My family was one of the 5% of "gentiles." We'd put Christmas lights up in the front yard every year just because we could. It was a good town. No complaints. They tore down the houses across the street from us and put up a mall.. then a bigger mall.. then our 2 lane street became a 4 lane highway... but it was a good place to grow up... a good place to be a kid.. who liked theater.

Just for the record, there definitely were gay kids doing the theater (back to the gay theme here) but of course, they were kids.. they... WE... weren't gay.. just... well.. as my mother would say... "affected."

Let's see, where was I... oh yeah... the title of this peice... well.. the OTHER title....

So in my family there was me and a younger brother. My mom's family was at the very least an hour drive away and I never knew them very well...

(OK... quick aside here... so I'm doing more than just writing this.... I'm checking in on Facebook and Manhunt too... and this was the most recent MH.net discussion with a handsome guy in Lincoln, RI....

> --------------------------------------------------
> On Wed 27 May 2009 08:28 PM, o------- wrote:
>
> ahhh, it's the guy with the nice pillow cases.  i wasn't aware that you
> could get those at marshalls.  apparently, i need to shop there more
> often.
>  i'm doing well, thanks.  tired but well.  what's happening wit

> --------------------------------------------------

> On Wed 27 May 2009 08:41 PM, Pitts wrote:
>
> nothing.. another quiet night in.. i think i'm going to try to start
> blogging tongiht. HA

> --------------------------------------------------
> On Wed 27 May 2009 08:44 PM, o-------wrote:
>
> blogging about anything in particular or just about random thoughts that
> occur to you?
> --------------------------------------------------
> On Wed 27 May 2009 08:50 PM, Pitts wrote:
>
> well... I tried to start one over the weekend... wasn't sure what I was
> going to write about.. but have decided to write about my gayness... kind
> of
> lame, but figured I'd start at the beginning and just go.. see how far I
> got.

--------------------------------------------------
On Wed 27 May 2009 09:01 PM, o-------wrote:

> oh...you're gay? huh, that changes everything. if I'm attracted to to
your
> winning smile, does that make me gay too? i'm not sure what to make of
this.
> --------------------------------------------------
> On Wed 27 May 2009 08:50 PM, Pitts wrote:
>
>yep.. that's me.. big old gay gay president of gay town.
>:)
>
>just to let you in on a secret.. probably everyone you'll be chatting with
>on here is gay.
>
>shhhh.. don't tell some of them.. they don't know it yet.
>
>:)


OK.. so that was the conversation... and I'm going to make a few points about what I just did and then I'm going
to pause... because that just became a LOT more work that I expect.

1) YES.. I'm on Manhunt.. which actually DOES go back to the orginal title of this peice.
2) for those of you that don't have manhunt... the posts start mounting on top of on another, not down as it is
above.. so I had to just cut and paste a lot... and I figured I should change the guy's name I was chatting to
as to not give him a bunch of publicity.. although he's a handsome guy with a nice body.
3) when I cut and pasted, this blog's justifications got all screwed up, so I'm going to start a new post just
so that it's not so much work.. I love the original font, which I liked, and now I have to hit enter to go to a new
line... like that... and I don't see the point in doing too much work. ALSO, I think this is a WICKED long post..
so I'll make the next one shorter.
4) I think this is going to be fun... I'll be back later to continue my story.